While I am reflecting on this post of Udaipur there seems to be only one thing coming to my mind: Slimeballs.
Not everybody, but we had an overdose of them. Starting with our guide. There he was waiting for us at the lobby: baseball cab (to hide his reclining hairline), mirror sunglasses (to hide what exactly he is looking at. A tip: it was not our “eyes”.), shirt unbuttoned a bit too far (NOT hiding his chest fur) and (of course) a shiny gold necklace. O jeezzz. I know, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but this book was very easy to read, actually it read itself out loud. By the time we got to the City Palace, he already asked my friend if she knew the kamasutra and before she could answer (or slap him) he told her he knew a lot of positions he would like to try out with her… ??#?!#!!?#?? When my friend told me I took him aside, told him to extensively apologize for this behavior, to stay within my sight at all times, to not talk to my friend again unless asked. We sacked him.
The City Palace was nice, but a bit overcrowded (and an annoying, egocentric slimeball as a guide). We get our first taste of mass tourism. A “flog” of 100 elderly Indian wear a cab and scarf and follow another elderly… the hallways are jammed instantly, no way around or through… We don’t know it yet, but we’d better get used to it with Jaipur and Agra still planned.
Earlier today I was shocked to see a very old lady at the temple. Not the fact that she was there, but her situation. She got dropped by her family at the temple, so she could beg for food there and try to survive. ???? What a way to spend your last chapter.
As there is so much water around, we NEED to get on a boat. We make our way to the boat dock down the City Palace and hurry up to be there before 2 pm to get it at half price (yes, we are frugal… sometimes). We meet with a group of Muslim women dressed in colorful garments. They seem to be as curious about us as we are about them. When we get to the Jag Mandir, we take the route where the other tourists are not going and find a nice spot to take some lovely pictures of ourselves with Udaipur on the background. We try our best to hide our tummy, under-chin, and any other unflattering part of our body when we notice we have some observers… two guards looking at us from their post… smiling… busted.
When we get back we want to secure the tickets for the sunset cruise. Apparently, this is a hotspot for slimeballs, THE place to be… Guess it makes sense, checking out the romantic people – and especially the women – who will be going on the sunset cruise and obviously are so lonely and desperate that they would need a male escort for the remainder of the night, or vacation, or… We got our tickets and the guys are standing in line to talk to us. “You want to go shopping, I will take you…” Yeah, yeah… we know these stories. We just want to do shopping on our own and make our way to a shop we deem fit for our money. We hang out in that place for 2 hours, we don’t get bothered, get my shirt repaired, use their WIFI… and buy some nice things. Right in time for our sunset cruise down the street. O yes, they are still there, the slimeballs. “Do you want to go to a restaurant tonight”… “to my house”… “I will wait for you”. Don’t tell me someone actually would say yes to something like that! Guess enough do otherwise the guys would not be hanging out here. They actually do wait for you to get back from the cruise. Obviously our ex-guide is also hanging out there. What did you think…
The next day is my birthday. I get up and want to go for an early breakfast, when my friend seems to stall a bit and sneaks out while I am getting ready. She leads me to the rooftop where I almost got run over by one of the staff. What is going on? A table is nicely set up with flowers and a birthday cake. What a nice surprise! What a great start of my special day!